The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes!
Psalm 118:23
We drove to the orphanage on the northwest side of Chengdu and along the way had a wonderful conversation with Susie about Chengdu, China, children, and life in general. She is such a wonderful guide and shares so much from her heart with us. I woke up very early this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Thoughts and prayers being lifted up for my son. Praising God for His miracles that allowed us to travel back to China to adopt our newest Bao Bei (treasured baby). So overwhelmed by God's faithfulness and His deep and everlasting love for His children. Asking the Father to open the door of Mason's heart to love us and be loved in return. Praising Him for all the doors He has opened along this journey, and giving every fear, every worry, every longing in my heart over to Him to comfort. On the road to the orphanage, my heart was so calm, so joyful, so looking forward to seeing our little one's adorable face. What better place is there to meet your new child than to be centered in God's goodness and so full of His love for me. :) As we pulled up to the orphanage gate, David was a bundle of nerves. Excited and scared, my smiles and lightness calming him. We walked into the beautiful lobby painted with colorful murals for the children, and walked up to the 2nd floor. The children where napping so it was very quiet and we were able to just rest and fill out some paperwork for about 20 minutes so that Mason could finish taking his nap. :) The orphanage staff were very happy to meet us. They were smiling and kind and the young lady in charge of the adoption paperwork even spoke English, which was a major shock having adopted in a province where no English was spoken at all. She told us that Yang Yang was very cute and a very naughty boy. lol! Which Susie assured us was the Chinese translation for saying he was "all boy" and "very active". :) As the children were sleeping, we were unable to take a proper tour of the orphanage (CWI), but just walking up to the room where we would meet Mason, we could see play rooms and rooms with cribs too. The hallways were decorated with wonderful murals painting on every wall and cute die-cuts hung up on windows and from the ceilings. The rooms were darkened for naptime and all the toys were perfectly lined up against the wall and put back in there bins. It was very, very clean and felt like being in a well-run preschool so colorful and welcoming. There was a sign posted that said "no photos" and so we didn't take any; however, it was too dark to have gotten any good photos anyway. The orphanage worker assured us that in Mason's report there would be lots of photos of the classrooms where he plays, and she was right! Before we met him, she handed us a baby photo album full of photos of him from infant to now and also a treasured keepsake - baby Memory Book. Because he is in a Half-The-Sky orphanage, he was assigned a specific caregiver from the time he entered the CWI. The nanny or ayi that nurtured and loved him for 2 years, prepared a report on him as he grew and took photos of him and most precious, she stamped his handprint and footprint as he grew - seeing his newborn handprint and footprint made my heart instantly melt. Oh how tiny! We looked over the photos in the report also and Dave laughed and beamed to see his son actually smiling and giggling too. :) All of the photos we have received from the updates, he wasn't too happy in them. So it was so great to see him full on laughing and having a great time! It is such a beautiful keepsake for him and of course my heart hurts for my sweet Jessa not to have something like this to share with her, but again I am reminded of the Father's protection over each of my children through their baby years in China. One completely loved and cared for in a Christian foster home and the other nurtured and loved by one ayi who took the time to share her stories and insight about our son in this wonderful book recording his early months for us to cherish.
We chatted so more and then I pulled out the wonderful care package gift that I had brought from a friend who is adopting a beautiful baby girl also from Mason's CWI. I didn't even have to explain what it was or who it was for! lol! The ayis in the room with us immediately saw her photo and KNEW her! Oh she is soooo loved! They smiled and quickly said they would bring her in the room too so that we could give it to her and take photos for her family. :) Thanking God for another open door! So as the ayis left to prepare the children, I reached in the bag we brought and took out the best toys and candy I could find. :) Smarties candy, and Frosted Cheerios, a toy cell phone and a little toy that lights up and spins, and 2 little cars. All lined up on the coffee table in front of us waiting for Mason's arrival. David and I sat next to each other on a black couch facing the door and through the door window we could see the ayis coming bringing with them both children!
This next part is for my friend Amy:
Adorable Hannah came in the room first and she was too precious for words! Wearing a little dress and sandals. Such a tiny peanut maybe wearing 12 months clothing, so petite, yet so brave! I got up and kneeled down on the ground with the children. Slowly giving them the treats we had brought. Hannah was the first to come to me and she LOVED the Smarties! :) She also loved the light up toy too. As I handed her the pink bear, I told her "From your Mama with love for you." She was very timid because the ayis immediately began smiling and nodding their heads in approval, interpreting to her what I had just said, and trying to make her say "Mama, Mama" over and over again. To be honest I was a little overwhelmed by that too. ahahaha! They took the photo album and poured over it oooing and ahhhing at the pictures of her siblings waiting for her to come home. So very cute how interested they were and how adorable they thought all the photos were. I could tell she was their FAVORITE! And to be honest, she immediately stole our hearts as well. So precious! Even the orphanage adoption staff our in love with Hannah - all the office workers came out from behind their desks to see her receive the gifts you sent. We took photos and video and I will send them to you when we get back to the States - they told us not to post on the internet so I don't want to ruin it for other families who might want to send something to their sweet kiddos by way of another adopting family, since I know there are several waiting families. :) It was such a gift to meet your daughter and I'm praying you get to travel soon and when you do bring Smarties! hee hee! :)
And so, you may be wondering what was George Mason doing this whole time? Well, he was just relaxing. lol! He sat on an ayi's lap (not his ayi though, they told us that would have been too hard on her and him for her to bring Mason to us - so she didn't come to meet us - I was sad, but she had said her "goodbyes" to him and was crying so it was better for him to come with the other ayis) Anyway, he took a few Smarties from me and went back to the ayi and was captured by the oscillating fan whirring overhead. lol! He just kept staring at it and then came back for some more candy. :) The ayis tried to get him to come to me, but I wanted our first meeting to go slowly and calmy so I shook my head when they were pushing too hard. Eventually, on his own he came over to me to investigate the light up/spin toy. Then my heart spilled over and I couldn't contain the JOY as my arms wrapped around our little boy and for the very first time I held him! My smile so big, my heart so full! David taking lots of video and our guide taking lots of photos for us. Have I mentioned how much I love our guide, Susie? :) Then, it was David's turn to "work his magic" as he said. He knelt down and showed Mason how to work the toy. It is just small enough that he can hold it in his hand and use his little thumb to push the button. His eyes got so big when it would light up. :) We could tell he was scared, but he was also very, very brave. His heart racing a hundred miles per hour. Choking back his cries of terror - for a such a little baby boy, he was trying so very hard to be grown up. Which broke both of his new parents hearts, we wanted him to cry if he felt scared and saw how much he tried not too, maybe they teach them that in the orphanage? I don't know, but it was hard. As we left the CWI to head back to the hotel, we went through the back door which leads out to the playground and we were sooo blessed to see lots of children playing...as we watched we were glad to see so many smiling faces. The older children practicing their English with us, "Hello! Hello! Hello!" and waving enthusiastically! ADORABLE! Mason squirmed around in my arms so that he could see the little children that were all lined up like a little train and walking back inside. David video taped a litttle bit of that moment as well. It was very cute and we could see that the children really love being outside. Their playground is awesome with lots of things to climb on and play on and even a little carousel that has animals for them to sit on that spins them 'round. :) So now it was time for us to get in the van, after one last photo of our family in front of the orphanage. As we climbed in Mason's heart finally could take no more changes, he screamed and cried and was feeling so out of control. But again, Susie to the rescue. She immediately comforted him and told him he was safe, that we love him, will feed him, and make him very happy. She told him not to be scared. I gave the little comfort I had in Chinese "boo coo, boo coo" and she told me how to saw "good boy" also in Chinese which sounds like "gui gui". He responded immediately. He snuggled into my arms and although he was scared and his eyes full of tears - he has not screamed like that since. He has cried when he is afraid of new places and new faces, but no screaming tantrums. So thankful for God's merices! We rode back to the hotel and once we were in the room we introduced him to more toys and more treats. lol! David has the room set at sub-polar temps, so I knew he would be freezing. The only long pants and shirts I brought were his pj's - so we put those on him with some socks. Susie told me, "Yes, that's better." :) Oh, he is brave! He is cuddly! and more than anything HE IS OURS! :)
We received a pre-travel update on ♥ Curious George ♥ !
It came unexpectedly today as our agency's in-Chin@ team requested it for our family. With the update, we received two more photos of little Mason and some new measurements too.
HEIGHT: 79 cm (31.1 inches)
WEIGHT: 10 kg (22lbs.)
HEAD: 47 cm
CHEST: 46.5 cm
FEET: 11cm (shoe size 4.5/5)
TEETH: 14
I really don't think my Momma's heart can take much more of this waiting. It is so hard to see him, but not be able to reach out and hold him. I think he looks scared, unsure, and even a little sad in these photos. We have yet to see him truly light up inside with a big smile in any of the photos. Sometimes that makes us nervous for what is ahead and other times I realize that it gives us so much to look forward too. His first smile. His first belly laugh. His first hug. His first words. Just to hear the sound of his voice will be a moment to remember!
Praying for the transition that is coming in a few weeks. I can only imagine that his heart will be grieving for the places and the faces that he has come to know. Praying for grace and mercy from the Father that this grieving period will be one in which he will allow both David and I to comfort him and hold him. Praying that we will have an overflow of love, endurance, and strength for the journey ahead....
until he finally feels safe in our arms and his heart begins to feel right at home.
Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. ~ Jeremiah 17:7-8
Our agency has confirmed our Consulate Appointment (CA) date to be August 30th, and we've booked our tickets to China!
We will embrace our son for the first time on Monday, August 22nd in the city of Chengdu, Sichuan.
Please be praying even now for this miraculous day. Praying for his heart to be comforted by our love and for God to be even now preparing his little heart to embrace his new family. Prayers for God to fully equip David and I with the wisdom, strength, patience, and the endurance we need to parent our new son as he grieves and braves the changes in his life.
What a journey we've been on! Miracles and confirmations that Jesus has directed every path! We are humbled by His goodness and once again in awe of His timing.
August 22nd. It isn't a date we will ever forget.
Eight years ago, we had only the promise of a future hope to hold onto. We were shattered. Barely able to grasp the hands of the Father who was even then reaching down to us. It felt like we had been standing on a bridge overlooking the rapid torrent of the falls, when suddenly we awoke to find ourselves plunged into the icy waters below. Struggling to survive the current that kept taking us under. No compass to follow. No way of turning back. Completely drowning in the greatest sorrow of our lives, the final goodbye to our little boy - the last time we would see our son, touch his little hands, look upon his beautiful face this side of heaven.
August 22nd. The day before the last goodbye.
As hundreds of friends and family gathered to mourn the death of our son and offer us comfort, I remember feeling completely numb. Was this really happening? Was I at a funeral for my son? My baby boy? How did this happen? Weren't we just celebrating David's birthday? Stopped at a red light, minutes from tucking my little boys in their beds, and from nowhere our lives forever changed by the recklessness of another. Slammed from behind by an SUV going 70mph. He never stopped. His drunken state too intoxicated on alcohol and drugs to know the damage he had caused. And here I was, just days later watching others file into a room to small to hold them all, the love was beautiful, the sorrow too much to hold. Who were they coming for? Who lay in that small casket draped in baby blue? Everything was so surreal - like the set of a movie - I was watching my life unfold before me and I had no control over any of it.
This was my son these people were coming to say goodbye too. Will he awaken soon? Can I never hold him again? Oh please. Please. Please! let me hold my baby again! Just one more time to feel his soft cheek next to mine. To feel the weight of him in my arms. Oh Please no! No! No! Not my son. Not my baby! Somehow, without my knowing it, I had been cast as the grieving mother in my own life, but this was a part I did not want to play. Please someone, anyone, take my place. I don't want to lose my son!
It felt like at any moment I would wake up from this nightmare. Only the days stayed dark, and there would never be another morning without the mourning. Hayden was dead. The funeral was for him, and tomorrow we would bury our son in the dark, cold ground. Oh my heart! I don't want my son in the ground! I want him in my arms. I want to care for him. I want to love him. To dress him and feed him and play and sing and, oh! I want to be his mother again! Please God! Please give me my child!
The numbness that had once distanced me from the truth fled as the rawness of the reality exploded inside my heart. It was too much for any human soul to endure. I crumbled to the ground and heard the screams of a mother desperate for her child and even in the weeping could not recognize that they were my own.
Death creates spaces of loss and missingness. Those never leave us. I've never felt whole again, and the part that is broken, the part that longs to hold my son again, that part is in a constant state of waiting. Waiting for the glorious day when we will see him again. Waiting for the day that He calls us home and the one who loves us beyond any other, the one who gave his life for us, Jesus himself, stretches out his hands to heal us and make us whole again. Yes, August 22nd is a very emotional day. It has always meant separation. The beginning of the missingness and empty places.
On August 23rd, we gathered together with close friends and family to celebrate the life of our sweet son, Hayden Matthew. As we wept over his broken body, we could never have imagined that the God of the Universe was already planning a way to make this day beautiful again. Huddled in the chapel, our tear-filled songs lifted up to heaven echoed the love we felt for Hayden and the deep ache we had to see God's hands work for our good. My cries unrecognizable even to myself pouring out from the depths of a shattered heart joined with the overwhelming fear of not knowing how this will ever be alright, how we will cope, how our lives will ever feel normal again. Packing away his clothes, his memories, I tried to hide the reality of his existence, but try as I might, I couldn't pack away the loss. It stayed like an unwanted house guest. I awoke to it each morning - slapped in the face by the sting of death. Pushing myself to create a life out of pain. Struggling to keep my head above the water. Soon I found myself floating with the current of the hurting. No direction, no purpose, just floating, just existing. Sorrow upon sorrow raged through my heart. There is no comfort for a mother who wants nothing more than to hold her baby boy again. There are no words. There is no acceptance. There are no moments of relief. Just the weight of empty arms, the pierced pain of broken hearts, and the beginning of a lifelong goodbye.
And now here we stand on God's promises and His faithfulness! Eight years of remembering the saddest goodbye and our Mighty God has redeemed even this day! What healing we would have missed had we chosen not to listen to the Father! How could we know He had this planned when our hearts were pulled to adopt back in October? For you see, as an adoptive family, we celebrate our children each year on the day we first held them, a celebration of a new chapter in our family's story - a celebration of life! How wonderful are God's ways! How awesome are His plans!
O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I feel from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! ~ Psalm 139
And this year, on August 22nd, we will celebrate a BRAND NEW DAY when we embrace George Mason for the very first time as our son! God has given us the incredible gift of another son and we will welcome him into his forever family on August 22nd.
And, on August 23rd huddled together in a room in Chengdu China, George Mason Yang will officially be our forever son as David and I sign the adoption papers.
August 23rd, 2003. The beginning of the long goodbye.
August 23rd, 2011. The beginning of a forever family.
Now who among us can deny the overwhelming love of a God who brings about healing in such a GLORIOUS WAY!
Our hearts will always long for our son, Hayden, but oh the JOY, the inexpressible JOY in knowing he is safe in the arms of Jesus! Our hope is secure in the God who brings beauty out of ashes. We will see him again and when we are reunited around the throne of heaven, dancing in the streets of glory, their will be GREAT JOY!
For God has multiplied our family in unimaginable ways!
Bringing into our family a wonderful daughter who shares the same birthday as her brother and whom we embraced at 17 months old, the same age that Hayden was when he first entered heaven's glory and saw the very face of God.
And as we prepare to embrace our adorable new son on the same day, eight years ago, that we said goodbye to his brother, Hayden, we are in awe of God's plans for us. These days that would bring nothing but pain and sorrow have been redeemed by the Father to give us JOY even in the midst of the painful remembering. Oh how He loves us! PRAISE HIM!
To only my Maker my Father my Savior Redeemer Restorer Rebuilder Rewarder To only a God like You Do I give my praise!
I feel my spirit praying even while the words are coming out of my mouth. She searches my face for answers to questions that I didn't think would come this soon. I fumble for explanations that seem so unclear to me trying hard to iron out the wrinkles in her brow and satisfy her doubt. Hoping the little I have to offer her will be enough for now. Wounding words surface to the top and we are caught in a tangled mess trying to go around the land-mines of "unwanted" "abandoned" "unknown" "alone". She knows there is a difference between her welcome to the world and that of her brother and sister. China and adoption are words that we've embraced from the very beginning, but now she wants to know how she arrived in this family and why her very first picture wasn't in my arms.
I pull her closer to my heart and tell her how Momma's arms longed to hold her even when she was a baby. And oh how I wish I could have been her Mommy sooner. I tell her about God's plan and how He knew the right time for Momma and Daddy to come and bring her home to her forever family. We talk of Nai Nai and Ye Ye and how blessed we were that they loved her as a baby, and held her, and fed her, and sang to her. She smiles as though she remembers Nai Nai's songs. Then it surfaces, the question she most wants to know.
"Momma, was I in your tummy?"
"No sweetie. Not my tummy, but your birth mommy's tummy."
And though I know it will bring her more hurt, I tell her of this unknown mother in China. The one who gave her life. Praying that God changes my words so they make sense to her and praying they land softly on her heart. An unknown birth mother. An unknown birth father. Did they love her? Did they want her? Do they think of her? Do they long to know her?
Though she accepts my simple explanations, I can see she is changed by the differences. Saddened to see her little eyes cloud over as she realizes the truth. She has another mother in China. One who gave her birth and life. One who must be stunning for all the beauty we see mirrored in her daughter. A "tummy mommy" where she grew for 9 months. A birth-mom who for a reason we can not begin to comprehend decided she could not parent this sensitive, smart, creative, and beautiful child.
"So she did what she thought was the very best for you and allowed Nai Nai to love you as a baby until Mommy could come and bring you home. Adoption means I love you and want you to be my daughter forever. "
I can see she is pondering what else it means. It means you weren't mine from the very beginning. It means it takes time to feel apart of your new family. It means your Mommy doesn't look like you. It means you are different and sometimes all she wants is to be the same. It means you don't know your whole story and it means questions that don't have answers.
But, it also means you are loved. It means a Mommy and Daddy forever to love you. It means they will celebrate your differences and they LOVE your chocolate brown eyes. It means you have someone to rejoice over your success and hold you close when you fall. It means family and a place to call home. It means you belong because more than just being born from your Momma - you were a gift from God!
It means you will never be alone again. It means you are wanted and needed and most importantly loved. It means our family without you would never be the same. It means you are ours - forever.
She hugs my neck and looks me straight in the eyes. "Mommy, Hollyn and AJ were born in your tummy."
"Yes, that's right sweetie."
"And me and Curious George, we was born in your heart."
She smiles as she pats my heart knowing Momma's heart is where love grows. :)
We received the phone call from AAC Adoption & Family Network this morning! They have received our Travel Approval!!! We are so thankful to have made the August 1st deadline (avoiding 5 years of post-placement visits) and are THRILLED to be planning our trip! The kids and I called David in the cornfields and SCREAMED and JUMPED for JOY with him on the phone! To add to the excitement he is coming home this evening - YAY! While we have to wait until after August 14th to travel in order to be eligible for the Adoption Benefit through Target, it hasn't stolen our excitement at all. We are celebrating and so thankful that we are finally at the end of the paperwork and the next step...is getting on the AIRPLANE!
For those of you who have so kindly inquired as to how you may support our adoption financially, first let me say, that David and I are deeply moved and humbled by your loving generosity and so blessed by your support as you feel called to help our family in whatever way He leads, and secondly, we are so thankful for those of you who are praying day and night so fervently for our family and for Mason as we embark on this journey to bring him home.
The Christian Foundation has graciously offered to receive donations on behalf of our family for our adoption travel costs and this will allow each donation to be tax deductible. Donations should include on a separate note:
"This donation is for the Watt Family Adoption"
and donations may be mailed to the following address:
Christian Foundation 8445 Keystone Crossing Blvd., Suite 200 Indianapolis, IN 46240
Thanks be to God! For His indescribable gift!
We feel incredibly loved by the Christian Foundation as they bless us through this endeavor of accepting donations from others on our behalf. We are also over-joyed at the outpouring of gifts and offerings that the Body of Christ has provided already through donations of adorable clothes, a tricycle, beautiful changing table, winter coats, shoes, a stroller, a gift card, and monetary gifts for related travel expenses. Each time there is a need - God meets it far and above what we thought was even possible.This has been a journey of faith. Trusting Him for every provision. The Body of Christ is so beautifully amazing and we are so very blessed to be called children of God and lavished by His love through yours. Thank you doesn't seem like a big enough sentiment to convey the huge feeling of overflowing joy in our hearts - we cry tears of happiness each time God answers our prayers through the kindness of His children.
Blessed! So blessed! Knowing He will make a way, even when there seems to be no way. Thank you dear family and friends for loving on us so well! May He richly reward you for all you have given in His name!
This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!~ 2 Corinthians 9:12-15
We are officially approved by China to be George Mason's Mommy & Daddy! David and I are BEYOND excited! God has been so faithful throughout our journey to do exactly as He promised and open every single door for us! Praise His Name! I had a feeling pressed deeply on my heart that we would hear news this week. I can't really explain it - we should have waited 2 to 3 months for our approval, but I know God's ways are so much higher than ours, and there was a peace that this week we would receive our LOA. I have to admit all day today I've been a little sad thinking somehow I had heard Him wrong. It wasn't until this evening that things started to make sense...
you see...
Apparently, Nicole from AAC called earlier this morning...and well, the girls both decided that to TODAY of ALL DAYS they would be "helpful" and they both ANSWERED the phone call! And NO they are not supposed to answer the phone! And YES this is the VERY FIRST time they've ever done that. lol! I was in the bathroom of all places!
So our director at our agency told them "Go tell your Mommy that "Nicole" is on the phone and needs to talk to her." They both said "Mommy is in the bathroom." (nice! oy vey!) So she told them again to tell me and they said "Okay" and then she heard "click" as they promptly hung up the phone. lol! Now to their credit they did knock on the bathroom door and tell me that "somebody is on the phone" but of course I didn't IMAGINE that they had answered the phone. I thought they were just letting me know someone was leaving a voice mail - because we have a really, really, did I say REALLY, old answering machine and you can actually hear the person leaving the message. So I went on with my chores, bathed the girls, put them down for naps, jumped in the shower and got ready to go to Target to work. The whole time neither one of the girls offered up any IDEA that they had talked to someone on the phone. Nope...they never did deliver that message. Those little munchkins!
So right before I'm headed out the door to my evening part/time job, and I mean RIGHT BEFORE, keys in hand, purse on shoulder, walking out the garage door - Nicole calls back. And tells me the story of what happened earlier this morning..and then she says, "I have some EXCITING NEWS FOR YOU! WE HAVE RECEIVED YOUR LOA from CH*N@!"
And ever since 4:45 pm this evening, I haven't been able to erase the smile from my face. My cheeks actually ache! :) What a GREAT DAY! And to think, somehow, someway, God even worked all that chaos out for good too, because David was home from school when we finally learned the AMAZING news together, so I guess it all worked out in the end just as it should have.
We are so EXCITED! So it is official! We are PARENTS to the CUTEST LITTLE BOY in the WORLD! (not that I'm biased or anything...lol!)
AAC is Fed-Exing the all important documents to us, we sign them and notarize them and send everything back to them ASAP! Then our paperwork goes to USCIS for our I800 approval (processing immigration paperwork for his travel visa to the U.S.). We don't really know how long that will take. Could be weeks or a month or more. Then the wait for our Travel Approval. So we are praying that we can still travel before school starts. Wouldn't it be miraculous to be able to hold him on his 2nd birthday!?!
Praising God for another miraculous milestone completed on this journey to our treasured son!
a Daddy
to play catch with in the warm summer sun
to tell funny stories too when the day is all done
to fish off the dock as little men like to do
who'll give him shoulder rides at the park and the zoo
who'll make him feel proud of all that he's done
and make him excited about what's yet to come
who'll teach him to love others and God first in his life
be an example of what a loving man is to his wife
give him more joy and comfort and praise
while protecting and nurturing him all of his days.
a Momma
to hug him so close when he's hurting inside or out
to kiss his "ouchies" all better and erase all the doubt
who'll tuck him in and watch over his sleeping
encourage his heart and cherish dreams in her keeping
to pray over his life and help him to see
all that Jesus has created him to be
who'll be there to catch him while he's just learning to fly
and stand there with smiles while he soars really high
to tell him he can when he thinks that he can't
teach him to believe and embrace what God grants.
a Big Brother
that makes him belly laugh and roll on the ground
cheer him on at his games and toss a ball around
be proud of all that he's learning to become
while giving him guidance and strength to overcome
who'll send him running away in a fun game of tag
then make his heart soar just listening to him brag
about all the things his little brother can do
and all the moments he's helped him shine too
who'll scoop him up high and then wrestle him down
change his face to a smile when he's wearing a frown
who'll teach him to pillow fight and dive really deep
and who'll be there to congratulate him when he takes the big leap.
a Big Sister
to play pretend with and make-believe
to watch him grow up and help him achieve
all of his dreams both big and small
and standby to catch him should he ever fall
who'll read him books over and over and over again
and who'll cuddle him close when the thunder rolls in
to play in the kitchen while having tea at high noon
wearing silly costumes singing loud out-of-tune
she'll baby him more than he wants or he needs
and he'll be content to go where she leads
she'll love him completely and let him go first
and when he succeeds her joy will just burst.
And he'll know he's adored from his head to his toes
by the best, loving family that God could have chose."
The journey feels more and more real as we complete each step! Our agency emailed us last night to let us know that are dossier is officially logged into the "system" in Ch*na! Which is an answer to prayer as it means everything arrived safely in Beijing and is now accounted for by the C C A A.
Our Log In Date {LID} is 04.14.11! So we have been waiting on our Letter Of Acceptance {LOA} since April 14th {unbeknownst to us}. YaY! I love when you are waiting and progressing on the journey and don't even know you are! ha! ha! :)
The last part of the email said: "That means approximately 2 months until LOA and 5-6 months until TA {Travel Approval}."
I guess we might have to change our expectations about having Mason in our arms before his 2nd birthday, but we know God is in control and our plans are not His plans, although it would have been so nice to hold him sooner! :) We'll just have to wait and see that the Lord is GOOD! :)
Happy Easter! God bless you and your family as you celebrate God's Love for us! And as we rejoice in the Risen Jesus who through His death and resurrection we have HOPE and NEW LIFE, I can't help but think about my sweet Hayden. The grave that was conquered that beautiful day - that my baby boy might also be risen to new life - it brings my heart such hope knowing I will see him again! And even now, I picture him singing with the angels in heaven around the throne of the King of Kings!
HOSANNA, HOSANNA! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the LORD!
After all the paperwork has been processed, and notarized, and state certified, and authenticated by the Ch*nese Consulate, we are so excited to announce that we are DTC! It has been 5 months since we received PA (pre-approval to adopt George Mason) and we are so ready for today! Yes, our dossier is finally in an airplane headed on its way to Ch*na! Praise the Lord! Please pray that it will arrive at its final destination safely and on time! Next step...LID (log in date - entered into the system). Hooray for today!
So I just couldn't wait any longer and I broke down this afternoon and called USCIS to see if our I800A had been processed yet, and not only did she tell me it had been processed, but we were approved YESTERDAY {3.10}! woo hoo! She said we should be receiving the official approval in the mail sometime next week. Which means I will be frantically checking the mailbox each and every day! lol! Life is Good!
We had a smooth day of completing yet another step in the process to bring George Mason home. Today we were fingerprinted electronically for the USCIS immigration process. Since we've been anticipating this step for sometime, David and I prepped in advance by lathering our hands up with lotion each night. Yes to Carrots! lotion is by far THE best lotion I've tried! It soaks into your skin and doesn't leave a sticky film and it softens and actually healed my badly cracked hands. The problem with cracked hands is that they make cracked fingerprints which can end up jeopardizing USCIS approval. Well all that time spent lathering up worked! We not only did not have to have them redone over and over again, but they took the first time! Hopefully, we will receive our I-800A approval in the mail within the next couple weeks and be that much closer to sending our dossier to Ch*na. For those wondering what the next steps are here is a breakdown of where we've been and where we have left to go. The bullet points in red are the steps we still have left to complete.
Referral Photo 10.07.10
AAC Grants Permission To Adopt 10.12.10
LOI 10.26.10 {Letter Of Intent To Adopt Mason}
PA 10.29.10 {Ch*na Grants Pre-Approval to Adopt}
Home Study Complete 01.04.11
Dossier Docs State Sealed 01.06.11
Fed-Ex Dossier Docs to Agency 01.09.11
I-800A Received 01.14.11
I-800A Notice of Action 01.20.11
Received Finger Print Notices 02.07.11
Finger Print Appointment 03.01.11
I-800A Approval
DTC {Dossier Mailed To China}
LID {Log In Date}
LOA {Official Approval - Letter of Acceptance/Confirmation}
The other day the kids were playing with the ABC magnets on the side of our fridge. The girls have been learning how to spell their names, and they both decided to use the magnets. It was really cute! AJ was home sick from school and with his help they managed to find enough letters to spell out everyone's name in our family - including our dog! lol! I'm not sure what it is, but there is something that makes my heart so happy to see all the names of my children listed like this. I guess I've always loved personalization. Maybe it's because my name is always hard to find on those little kiosks full of key chains and mugs and what-not. I don't know - there is something just special about seeing one's name scrolled out for the world to see. Whether monogrammed or beautifully embroidered in full script, a name is a child's first piece of identity. A gift from their parents. A treasured keepsake.
One thing that has always been endearing for me is choosing the names of our children. It is such a sweet wonderful experience to search out the perfect name for the child I'm longing to love, to thoughtfully consider the combinations, to ponder over meanings and origins, and to pray for God's leading. Making lists, writing down all the possibilities, somehow the very act of it brings me closer to the Father. How excited He must be in planning a new creation - each child so full of possibilities and promise. Knowing He knows from the very beginning the names of our blessings. And, while God certainly sealed names in our hearts for each of our kiddos, out of all the names we've given, George Mason is the only one that God actually gave to us.
We have a special book of names that not only includes the origin and meaning of each name, but also explores the spiritual significance of each name and provides a verse to go along with the entry. I LOVE that about this book!
GEORGE
Origin: Greek
Inherent Meaning: Land Worker
Spiritual Connotation: Walks With God
Scripture: Genesis 5:24 NRSV
Enoch walked with God; then we was no more, because God took him.
MASON
Origin: Old French
Inherent Meaning: Stoneworker
Spiritual Connotation: Overcomer
Scripture: Revelation 2:17 NIV
Everyone who is victorious will eat of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven. And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a NEW NAME that no one knows except THE ONE who receives it.
An OVERCOMER who WALKS WITH GOD. I can't imagine a more perfect name for our son than the one the LORD has chosen! :) For all that little Mason has gone through and will have to go through in his life - to know that God walks with him and that He has given Mason the power to overcome is beyond comforting! But what I think I like the most about his name is that verse - Revelation 2:17.
In the Ch*nese adoption community, there is something magical about discovering what your child's Ch*nese name means. To accurately explore the meaning of a Ch*nese name - one has to know more than just the spelling. Each Ch*nese word can have layers of meaning depending on which symbol was used and what time of year it was and what season. You see, the Ch*nese do not just name their children - they weave a poetic meaning into each name by purposefully choosing a combination that gives blessings throughout their child's life. For our daughter, we rejoiced to see the beauty in her Ch*nese name! She was given a name by the orphanage director that graciously bestowed on her a life of shining beauty. It was, in the words of the Ch*nese, a good and lucky name. For that we are grateful.
However, not all orphans are as lucky. Some orphanages deem a life of "bad luck" on a child from the moment he/she enters their institution simply by giving a child a name without meaning. A name that either has a meaning that makes no sense, or a name that the combination immediately identifies them as an orphan, or creates such a weird juxtaposition that the hearer of the name immediately recognizes it as one that is not truly "Ch*nese". In other words, just by the act of naming a child, their fate is determined - literally. Orphan children who age out of the institutions at 14 years are often unable to advance in their education, finding work is difficult as many think they are "bad luck" or "cursed", many are not respected, and most discover that though they are Ch*nese in birth, because they are orphans, they remain outcasts in society despite their new independence - once again, they find themselves unwanted.
My heart ached as I read the words on our son's medical file. There is so much he has undergone in his little life - how I wish somehow I could have saved him from all of it. Pouring over every measurement and tracing the history of how he came to be - my eyes suddenly stopped over his name. His Ch*nese name. What did it mean? Who had given it to him? The sad reality hit me. He had been named not as a blessing, but he had been named as a number. Much like "John Doe" is used to track an unknown person.
The orphanage had named him for the month and zodiac year he was admitted and identified him as a boy. Nothing meaningful. Nothing poetic. My child was a number. My son was anonymous.
Perhaps they thought he wouldn't survive. The odds were certainly stacked against him. Maybe they use a system of names - and this was just the next one on the list. Certainly, my heart aches knowing what his future would have been in Chin@ living a life with that name and I fear, without meaning.
Whatever the reason, my son's name is part of his story, and a huge part of him. We will treasure his heritage and we will embrace his Ch*nese origins just as we have our daughter's. Still, I fear he will know the difference, and I pray even now that God will show Mason the miracle that he is! How much he overcame to survive and how much promise God created in him to live!
This name - this number - is what they call him now, but God, God had something NEW planned! And in that plan, that miraculous, glorious plan, God decided before the beginning of time, that our son would be named MASON and his verse, Revelation 2:17, sings so clearly the plans God has - to prosper him and give him a HOPE and a FUTURE.
And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a NEW NAME that no one knows except THE ONE who receives it.
Do you see it? Do you see the significance? A white stone - a clean slate. A new beginning to engrave a whole new set of memories in. God has not only given us a new son, but He has given our son a NEW NAME!
All around us God's miraculous plans are unfolding in things unseen. Our lives are orchestrated to a symphony that only The Great Conductor can measure in rhythms and chords. Our journeys intertwined among His thoughts and Higher reasons. And all through out the daily melody of our life song, His divine sovereignty remains the ever constant cadence. The music of life is composed by the faith we have in things unseen - one note at a time.
What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. God gave his approval to people in days of old because of their faith. By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God's command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen. ~ Hebrews 11:1-3 NLT
David and I both were surprised by God's call on our lives as He began opening up our hearts to the idea of adopting again. We had much to pray over as we pondered the weight of this new call. We have dedicated our lives to Christ, and our lives are His to use for His glory, but still, it was difficult to process the how? why? and when? part of the journey. Armed with faith and little else, we jumped in with both feet and full hearts to see what God's plans included.
And how miraculous our God is to supply all of our needs! He is faithful to fulfill His promises in His ways which are always higher than our own. This miracle of faith begins back in 2007 when we joined our adoption agency's yahoo group while waiting to adopt our daughter, Jessa. Little did we know the amazing friendships and encouragement we would receive from these wonderful Christian women! From the beginning, I quickly connected with a wonderful mom who was adopting a little boy. Her heart so tender for the plight of the orphan. She not only has been called to adopt, but is sacrificially advocating for those children who are waiting still to find their forever families.
As the years went by, we both ended up traveling to bring our children home from Chin@. Every now and then we would connect through emails, and then one day something very happy happened for her family. They brought home an adorable puppy. But not just any puppy, a King Charles Cavalier puppy! She had no idea that we had been researching breeds of dogs for months and that David and I had agreed to purchase a Cavalier puppy as well. This would all be just a happy coincidence if it didn't lead to something more - some thing unseen!
Several more months went by and Sarah shared with me that they would be purchasing another Cavalier in the hopes of some day breeding the dogs to have their own litter of pups. The day came that she had prayed for - Kai Kai was expecting! We were thrilled to hear the good news as there is nothing cuter than Cavalier pups! The next couple of months would be hard for Sarah as she prayed over Kai Kai. Several times it seemed as though she might have miscarried, but each time Sarah prayed and Kai Kai recovered. It came time for her to deliver and she gave birth to three adorable puppies. And this is where God's life-song for both of our families began to play.
Sarah wrote me a beautiful email explaining that the reason she was so distraught over Kai Kai's puppies was that their family had decided long ago to give to the Lord a "first fruits" offering from the sale of the pups. They had planned from the beginning to purchase dogs to breed so that the sale of the puppies could provide financial assistance to an organization that advocated for orphans or a family that was currently believing God to bring home their child. She had prayed and God had answered. "God is laying your family on our hearts - this first fruit offering is to help Mason come home."
My heart leapt with JOY over the way God had woven our stories together. For it is then that I emailed my sweet friend back and shared that God had laid on our hearts to adopt a son with special needs, and that it was their faith to adopt their son with a limb difference that opened up my heart to the possibility to pursue Mason's adoption. Somehow seeing their son thrive in their amazing care softened my heart and took down barriers of fear that I had in adopting a child with special needs. I explained to her that when we stepped out in faith to trust God to provide for our financial needs to adopt Mason that we believed that God would lay our family on the hearts of those He had purposed before time began to intercede on our behalf. I explained that while they were contemplating which family to offer up their "first fruits" too that our family had been praying for God to provide the "first fruits" of our faith showing us that He would provide. We both wept at the others news! Only a God like ours can orchestrate a symphony of faith so beautiful!
Here is the story from her blog post in Sarah's own words:
I knew from the time we brought Kai Kai home that the first puppy of every litter sold was God's and not ours. It didn't matter if she had 1 puppy or 7 or how much the first puppy sold for. After we bred Kai Kai there were 2 times that I was sure she had lost her puppies. I cried out to God not because we were going to lose the money from the puppies but mostly because I knew there was a family that needed this puppy to help bring their child home. We honestly didn't even know until 3 weeks before she had them that she was pregnant.
Kai Kai has 3 beautiful, beautiful puppies and oh I will have a hard time letting them go to their new homes.
I prayed and prayed over which family would receive the money from this first puppy. I was kind of pushing a friend to start an adoption and get them to take it but I knew that wasn't right. I then prayed and prayed about giving it to some good friends of ours that are adopting but every time I tried to make plans for this puppy God kept putting another family on my mind. I can't even begin to tell you how many times God put this family in my head letting me know the puppy was to help bring their son home.
I wrote the mom one day and I told her that I couldn't believe I was telling her this because I wasn't going to say anything until we had the money to give them, but I felt God wanted me to tell her. The mom wrote me back an amazing letter that clearly showed why I was to tell her and that we had the right family.
I wasn't going to share the family on here but I want to because I would love for you to read their amazing story on their blog. This is a family that stepped out in COMPLETE faith, and God is moving mountain after mountain for them to get this beautiful little boy home who just happens to have a limb difference like Jaxson.
I wrote this because I want people to know that if God has given you a passion for something or a desire to adopt don't be afraid to ask God for creative ways to make things happen. Don't be afraid to ask God to multiply your money to do good things, your family or even your boundaries. Ask God to help you think out of the box and get creative.
So today, received in our mailbox was yet another amazing miracle - creative? yes! like only the Creator of the Universe can design! out of the box? for sure! The card reads so simply, yet with such profound purpose,
This is a gift from God, not from us.
Have a good day! :)
And with trembling hands, understanding once again the full measure of God's amazingly beautiful love for me, for Mason, for the orphan, for the families desiring to follow His will and adopt a precious chosen child of His making, for each and everyone of us who believe Him in faith - I hold a monetary gift from the sale of their very first puppy! We have been praying for God to provide for the remaining cost of our home study update. Praise God He has given us the amount we needed! To Him be all the glory!
Some may be reading this and thinking to themselves, well yes, of course, God would do that for their family, but that's not how God operates in mine. I just want to encourage you, do not let go of your faith so easily. God is no respecter of persons. What He has done for us, He will do for your family as well! Step out in faith - trust Him to provide - seek Him first. So you might be wondering how? How do I believe like that? The Scriptures tell us that all we need to do is believe that Jesus died for our sins and allow Him to be your Savior, King of your heart, God of your life. Bow your head, fall on your knees, and humbly ask Him to come into your heart, be the one who guides your paths, that you long to follow Him all the remaining days of your life, ask the Holy Spirit to anoint your life with His power and strength, and then prepare to change your life allowing His Word - the Bible to transform you making you a new creation and to bless you with the faith to move mountains.
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. (He is the author, originator and perfecter of our faith!) ~ Hebrews 12:2 NLT
David and I have faith so small that it literally is unseen! Often times are hearts fail us despite God's promises to provide. We hope and pray and wait. There are days we question whether we have embarked on the journey wisely knowing the cost both emotionally and financially. Those days are hard. And yet, God always finds a way of reminding us that this is not our plan - but His.
So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong. ~ Hebrews 12:12-13 NLT
He will make a way. He will provide. He will direct the hearts of His people and guide their steps to bless those that are doing His Kingdom work. He is ABLE. Today has given us the first fruits of our faith for we hold in our hands "the evidence of things unseen!"
O! my stars! Isn't he getting sooo big! This makes me want to hold him all the more! Today we were given a gift in our in-box! I was so excited to open up an update about our son! The Chengdu CWI was willing to provide two updated photos as well! YaY! We can't wait to put a huge smile on his little face!
I just have to say that our adoption agency is AWESOME! They provided this service to us absolutely FREE and they did not even blink twice when I asked. They inquired right away! And talk about an "open door"! God is surely with us even in the small steps of this journey. Praise His Holy Name! The director we've been working with is so kind and sweet. She has been out of town for personal reasons and she went out of her way to send my request to someone who was in the office this week. So blessed that this was given to us as a gift! A.A.C. Adoption & Family Network is just that a network of people working TOGETHER. They are an incredible TEAM and they actually ENJOY helping and blessing families like ours. We are incredibly blessed to be included in their family now as well.
They told us he is very healthy & a big eater! lol! :) He weighs 20.9 pounds and is 29 inches tall, which means he is still wearing 6-12 months clothes at age 17 months. So teeny compared to our kiddos who always manage to end up in the 90th percentiles. hee. They also said he has 8 teeth and is able to sit up on his own now. Answer to our prayers! He can stand alone too and is just learning to walk holding onto his nanny's hand. Be still my heart! We soooo want to travel to scoop up our little guy NOW! :)
Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land!
